ONLY IN L.A. COULD I HAVE GONE TO A MOVIE AND WOUND UP BEING JOHN TRAVOLTA'S BODYGUARD

OK, it's official. I'm a real-life Forrest Gump: a blundering, often clueless dude from the South who keeps stumbling across famous people (see my photos section !)
One night in November ('07) I was going to see "Hairspray" (the kickass version from this summer) at the Aero Theater in Santa Monica because John Travolta was going to talk after the film. So i ride over with my buddy Allan, who's also in awe of Travolta, and wind up having to sit in the front row.
Movie runs, it's killer, it puts a smile on your face for two hours like almost no movie ever. Better than "Grease," i'll even say.
Travolta comes up to the front, sits down with this hack critic from "Maxim" (trust me, read the critics' names in almost any movie ad and this guy's praising it: "The best romantic zombie comedy to come out last Tuesday!") and starts answering questions from him and then the audience. I wave my arm around and wind up asking Travolta a question that Allan says was the toughest of the night: how he manages to keep his spirit going when he has bad periods at the box office and how he manages to always pull off amazing comebacks.
The audience gasped. Travolta looked like i'd just slapped him. But he answered the question. Then he seemed to move on. I thought "well i had my moment, i got to ask my favorite movie star a question."
But then, right as they were about to wrap it up, someone from the theater comes up and whispers to me and Allan that they need a little extra help protecting Travolta as he leaves the theater. Apparently Max Von Sydow (huh? I know who he is, but HUH?) was completely swarmed to a dangerous degree there last week. So here i was, sitting in the front row...
And I'll admit, I'm GINORMOUS. 6'2", nearly 300 pounds, i could play linebacker for University of Texas, EASY.
So they ask me to help protect TRAVOLTA. WTF??!??
Of course I can't say no though. So i bounce onto the stage with Allan behind me (he couldnt' block a breeze, but hey he's my driver so he had to come along). Travolta's signing some autographs but trying to keep moving. And people are pushing in further and further towards us, we finally get off the stage and head for the doors alongside the screen and the door to the outside opens and BAM it's like Meet the Beatles!
Cameras flashing everywhere! Photogs calling out for Travolta's attention! Autograph hounds shoving books and photos into our faces!
And me getting to basically push and shove people as much as I wanted. I'm not a trained professional, people!!!
Finally, we push our way through and John gets in his limo - sadly without me. He probably didn't want to risk any more tough questions, and he probably was laughing all the way home that he managed to get his revenge for my bastard of a question by forcing me to run blocks for him with the crowd.
Hey, John, it's a small price to pay for the chance to meet a dude who in my mind is the most talented, charismatic movie star ever.
Now just make sure you keep picking good movies this time around.