WOW THIS IS ONE WEIRD ELECTION!!! JOKES...

Before I get into anything substantive, I thought I'd throw a few news jokes at ya. These are by me, for good and bad (or bad and worse):

Did you hear about McCain's choice for Vice President? He picked a real hottie, Sarah Palin, the Governor of Alaska. Who knew the VP could be a MILF? Better watch what I say, or the FBI's gonna be after my A.S.S.

Everyone took one look at her and finally agreed Alaska's a great place to go drilling.

I've heard of swing states, but who knew Alaska's a "Schwing!" state?

Her husband is part Eskimo. So you know he'll be rubbing his nose in everyone's business.

Hillary's pissed that the Republicans picked a woman. Bill just wants to know if he can trade Hillary in for her.

Geez, this has happened so fast and dramatically, I have to ask if she's supposed to lead the free world, or if this is simply a new reality series for Lifetime?

Palin's one tough cookie, though. She hunts, fishes, snowmobiles - and i think i just saw her behind the wheel on "Ice Road Truckers."

I don't know about Obama, though. He wants to be leader of the free world with just two years' experience. Come on! You need five years if you wanna manage a Circuit City.

They're telling everyone to flee Gustav. Who's naming the hurricanes these days? Gustav doesn't sound like a threat - it sounds like an old German. What's next - Hurricane Klink?

Shannen Doherty's coming back to he new "Beverly Hills 90210". She 's now so old, that's not just her ZIP code. It's her age.