So this has been an interesting year so far: sold my first essay to MSN.com, been headlining storytelling shows all over LA, now taking a class with one of the best story/performance teachers in the country and just landed a radio show on a big time station (KRLA - AM, home of Dennis Miller!) after 2 years of trying to break through.
But with that radio break, being picked up by a conservative radio station (even if we are trying to be funny on it) has completely made me wonder just what the hell has happened to me in the past few months.
I'll be exploring some of the things that i've been going through since June in another essay, but let's just say I bottomed out on a few levels (nothing to do with drugs or alcohol). Since then i've been working harder than i ever have before to become a good human being and more importantly a healthy one. But as I've gone through hypnotherapy (its OWN ball of wax, you'll see that too!) I've come to reclaim the passions and attitudes i had been ignoring for years at my core. It's made me more spiritual, got me back into music more than ever, set my movie habit on fire, and... apparently turned me into a right-wing jerk again.
It began with a vague distrust of Obama and grew and grew (there's other essays about that on this site). But now that i"m actually gonna make money doing my political harangues (along with my good friends Jake and Brant), I've been watching as much Obama-ness as i can (i.e. hs Letterman appearance last night) and then watched Bill O'Reilly's four-night showdown with the O-man on the "Factor" show.
This is the first time i've actually WATCHED the "O'Reilly Factor" on purpose (as opposed to seeing it on monitors in airport lounges where i couldn't change the channel). And I've come to think of a few things.
I'd heard O'Reilly is just a horrible human being, when in reality i think he's a compelling presence (again, i don't know if something's wrong with me!). But the thing is, I also don't understand what's wrong with the guy! As in, not that there's NOTHING wrong, but what the hell IS it with him?!
I've seen "The Colbert Report" plenty, and know that it mocks O'Reilly. But i had no idea that the real-life, ostensibly serious Bill actually has nearly everything he says appear in writing on the screen next to his face - AS HE"S SAYING IT!!!!
Does he think we're f-ing retarded?! Is HE?!
WHY would someone have the very thing they're saying put in writing next to his head while he's saying it?! Does he think we're all deaf from the shouting he does each night?
The other thing that makes me worry that i've crossed the line into middle age-ness is that I don't understand technology (I've never played XBox, Playstation, Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution or any of that s***! And i hate the concept of IPhones forcing us all to be sheep in lines (see other essay in this blog for more on THAT). And I only got my first real cell phone 2 years ago, at age 35!!! I just bought an MP3 player two months ago, loaded it up with CDs (none of which were from this decade, I assure you! Another old man trait!!!) and then proceeded to LOSE it!!!!!
But the thing that REALLY pisses me off to no end is tattoos. I've never seen so many of 'em til i moved out to LA, so maybe it's a geographical anger rather than an age-related one. But because everyday is a beach-worthy day in Southern California (i'm not kidding!!! 24/7/365!!!) people seem to flaunt them more than other places.
Seriously, WTF are you thinking when you cover your entire shaved head in tattoos? Do you just plan on never working a day in your life again?! Do these nitwits ever have second thoughts? Do they ever have thoughts, PERIOD!?! Last night i saw some amorphous blob of a human being (i seriously couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, and I"M 300 pounds so I can judge!!!) asleep on the red line train to Union Station, who had what looked like an open bloody wound on their cheek but in reality was...Tada! A tattoo of two dripping cherries! Right on their friggin' cheek!! Their CHEEK!!!! WHY?????? And then on their throat area, in ever-so-tasteful cursive font that mostly Latino tattoo recipients seem to favor, were the words "Candy Shop." Oh, and i almost forgot the two piercings jutting out of his/her/ITS lip and the indeterminate, also-cursive tattoo just above their eyebrows?
Would you hire that person? Or run the other way?
Yet i'm always thinking "I guess they dont' want to ever work again." Or "good luck getting a decent job with that!?"
But now, in my increasing moments of clarity about my own faults and weaknesses, I'm starting to realize these pinheads probably DO have jobs, and they're probably making a lot more than me.
Journalism don't getcha rich.
Maybe I'm just jealous. I'll get a picture of Obama tattooed on my a**.
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