Thursday, May 20, 2010

NEWS JOKES FOR THE WEEK OF 5/17

Did you folks hear about the dad who cattle-branded his teenage sons because he wanted to bring his family closer together? Hey, why not try what everyone else does: a nice family game of Monopoly?

Kevin Costner says he can save the Gulf of Mexico oil problem with a machine that can remove oil from water. Now if he'd invent something to remove "Waterworld" from my memory, I'll be happy.



The Gulf of Mexico is getting nasty from all that oil. They just renamed Red Lobster to Black Lobster. And you thought you had to worry about eating peanut oil.



Hey, you know that really gay musical show "Glee"? Fox just announced they're airing a special episode after the Super Bowl next year. So I guess the game won't just be SUPER (SAY IT GAY), but it'll also be FABULOUS! (SAY THAT GAY TOO) And that should be interesting - finally, whether youre a football fan or just really really gay - a party for everyone who likes tight ends.



Nurses at an LA Children's Hospital just got busted for running a hair salon in infant intensive care ward. In their defense, the nurses said "Neglect? Do you KNOW how hard it is to give a baby a weave?! That shit's expensive!"



An Arab-American woman just won MIss USA. The other contestants are protesting. They said how could she win if no one could see her face?



Donald Trump runs the Miss USA pageant, and he said "Fine, she showed no face, but did you see her ankles? Sexy!"



That woman also swept the talent competition with a beautiful rendition of that "Lulululululululululu"



Heard about that movie "The Prince of Persia"? It looks pretty cool but does anyone really wanna pay money to see a guy running around for two hours, going "My Friend!"?


You know what staycations are, folks? THat's when you decide to stay home for your vacation. They say less people are doing that this year. Man, I bet the people in Detroit are happy about that.



A 16 year old Australian girl just became the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo. Australia's president called her a national hero, but her parents were pissed. Yeah, they're grounding her. The girl said "Good luck! I just sailed around the WORLD. Don't think I don't know how to sneak the car down to the mall."

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

如果擬任為輸贏是最重要的事,那你輸了 ..................................................

政弘 said...

用行動來支持你~~~不留言不行!........................................

Anonymous said...

Joy shared with others are more enjoyed.......................................................

Anonymous said...

Judge not of men and things at first sight.......................................................

Anonymous said...

幸運是機會的影子 ....................................................

Anonymous said...

人間好話,要如海綿遇水牢牢吸住.................................................................

姵潔 said...

Necessity is the mother of invention...................................................................

Anonymous said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。.................................................................

Anonymous said...

閒來無聊逛逛blog~~跟您打聲招呼~~.................................................................

Anonymous said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

Anonymous said...

It takes all kinds to make a world.............................................................

Anonymous said...

你的分享很不錯.. 謝謝 ..................................................................

Anonymous said...

Practice makes perfect.............................................................

Anonymous said...

要經常發表文章 最愛你了呦............................................................

Anonymous said...

人必須心懷希望,才會活的快樂,日子才過得充實,有意義,有朝氣,有信心。......................................................

Anonymous said...

Riches serve a wise man but command a fool.............................................................

Anonymous said...

相見亦無事,不來常思君.................................................................

Anonymous said...

Learning makes life sweet.............................................................

Anonymous said...

到處盡心,即為快事;舉步踏實,便是坦途。.......................................................

謝翁穎翰毓珍 said...

多謝美味的心靈雞湯................................................................

Anonymous said...

良言一句三冬暖,惡語傷人六月寒。......................................................................

Anonymous said...

人生中最好的禮物就是屬於自己的一部份............................................................

Anonymous said...

生命的意義,是在於活的充實;而不是在於活得長久。......................................................

王辛江淑萍康 said...

人生匆匆-把握當下,支持鼓勵~事事如意~..................................................

Anonymous said...

缺少智慧,就是缺少一切..................................................

王辛江淑萍康 said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。..................................................

Anonymous said...
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